Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Damaged Goods ~ a personal card

Four years ago, I walked into the door of my home after visiting my parents for the weekend. I was greeted by bits of tattered cardstock and crinkled designer paper. My Cricut cutting system lay up against a wall where it had been thrown, it's handle askew. Crafting embellishments were strewn about, scattered in piles with markers and other crafting supplies.

A note had been left for me, laying on the dining room table where my crafting supplies once were: "You shouldn't have left it out. Now maybe you'll clean it up like you should have in the first place."

There have been many, many cardmaking challenges this month relating to breast cancer awareness month (which is a great cause!) but I haven't seen one yet about another issue that has its official month in October: Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

I lived for seven years in a relationship that was filled with abuse - scenarios just like the one above. I didn't realize that abuse wasn't just physical bruises... It was a willful beating down, tearing down of my mind too. I felt ashamed, tarnished, damaged. 

After that day four years ago, my crafting stuff stayed tucked away in a corner and gathered lots of dust. I was afraid to use it again because I knew I had the propensity to leave things "messy".

I haven't really talked about it publicly. And I'm still not sure that I want to... but I did want to do something to honor other domestic violence survivors and to bring attention to an issue that one in four women will deal with in their lives.

I've finally gotten back to doing something that I love - CRAFTING!! So this is my message to those of you still suffering. Maybe you are afraid or ashamed but I want you to know:


You may have started off bright and filled with fresh hope


And it's NOT YOUR FAULT

No matter how many tears you've cried


YOU ARE NOT ALONE

If you feel damaged and bruised


THERE IS HOPE AND LIFE

Though you've tried to cover and hide



You still feel cracked and broken


Though your heart is crushed and faded


YOU ARE WORTHY OF REAL LOVE!

There is still time, there is still life to live, it's never too late to:

NO MATTER WHAT YOU'VE GONE THROUGH
YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL CREATION!

If you are experiencing domestic violence, reach out for help! 
Call the 24/7 confidential National Domestic Violence Helpline at 1-800-799-7233

Abuse is not just physical. It can be emotional, too! 

I am so thankful for my family and friends who supported me during a difficult time in my life. If you know someone who is in an abusive relationship, reach out with support. They may not be ready to talk, or listen, or take help, but maybe one day they will. 

For my fellow crafters - would you consider making a card and spreading the word? It would mean so much to so many. Purple is the official color for domestic violence awareness. 

Challenges for this card:
A Blog Named Hero - Recycle it (My heart is made with an old paper bag)
Eclectic Ellapu - Purple Team - Texture



47 comments:

  1. Hi Becca,

    Yes, I too have been subjected to domestic violence of both the physical and mental kinds at the hands of my ex husband, an alcoholic gambler.
    As soon as the wedding certificate was signed, everything changed. He isolated me from friends, money, transport, self esteem and it was 8 years before I found someone to help me get out. That was 16 years ago now and the effects are still with me. I will make a card for sure as I am celebrating this month as the anniversary of my liberation.
    My love and spirit will be with you and all those that share their stories.
    Hugs
    dingodudette

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  2. Your story gave me goose bumps. It must have been sooooooo hard for you to talk about it and I am sure you now feel a little better for doing so.
    I love how you worded your posting after each photo and the end result is SPECTACULAR. A truly beautiful card and the sentiment is just PERFECT. So glad you are now able to get back to doing what we all LOVE. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for telling us your story and using our challenge at Just Us Girls to showcase this sad issue. BE HAPPY - BE PROUD. Live Love Laugh.

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  3. Wonderful project and the perfect sentiment. Thanks for sharing your story..blessings! Thanks for joining us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous!

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  4. Thank you for being brave enough to share your story...sadly, I am sure there are many reading this who can relate! Your post is beautiful and I'm sure will help and encourage many! Your project is so beautiful as well. Thanks for sharing with us at Pile it On this week!
    Tracey, DT

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  5. Oh wow! You are the phoenix who has risen from the ashes! This card, first of all is so amazing. I love how you brought your story out from this card. You placed beautifully written words with a beautiful card that shows so much. It is brave of you to show this to us and you should be proud. I have not experienced this but my husband's mother did and so did my husband-his father was one nasty SOB. I have had clients who have suffered and some went back to their spouses out of fear of how to live on their own. OK I had to go back and look at your amazing work again. Just brilliant. I have tomorrow to showcase a card and you

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  6. Oh, what a moving story. You are very brave, and I love your card.

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  7. Yours is a very moving story and a credit to your inner strength that you got through this. Hugs. This is a beautiful card and I love the depth you've created in your background.

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  8. My heart goes out to you Becca. I'm so glad you have managed to get out of this situation and have now grown from it. Your card is fabulous and I am pleased to know you are crafting happily.

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  9. You are so courageous sharing your story with us, as sad as it is. No one deserves to be treated that way. I love the descriptions you added to the steps of making this beautiful card, very therapeutic. This is an amazing composition with so much depth in more ways than one. Thanks for playing with us at JUGS!

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  10. Such a beautiful creation and I'm so glad you felt you could share your story with us! I'm so very proud of you and and so glad you are in a place to let your light shine again! Thanks for sharing with us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous!

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  11. Wonderful MM card! Love the step by step photos too! Thanks for your kind words on my blog and joining us again at Just Us Girls! Have a great day!

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  12. You are so courageous too!!!! HUGS!

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  13. This was a very moving post.....my heart rejoices that you found your way out and are living a beautiful life. I so appreciate your lovely card, the poignant thoughts and wonderful courage. It's truly beautiful! Thanks for sharing this with us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous!

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  14. Wow Becca!! I don't know where to begin with this post. I think you are such a brave woman and you are right...it's not your fault when you are being abused! I think this is the most important understanding of it all....you hit it right on the head and I'm so sorry you had to suffer. I thank you for being public and standing up for it and your effort to protect and save others like yourself. You have the power to do amazing things for others and I thank you for that as well!

    Now for your card...it's just beautiful and the sentiment couldn't be any more powerful! I love the colors, texture, design and especially the meaning behind it!! You go right ahead and keep doing what you do!! I can't thank you enough for your words of empowerment today! BIGGEST HUGS

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  15. Wow. What an amazingly powerful piece. A part of you for us to see.
    Thanks for sharing with us at Craft Hoarders Anon :)

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  16. Amazing, powerful & beautiful - your card, your story, your courage. Thank you for sharing all of them.

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  17. You are so brave to share this and I am pleased you are now away from this and able to share your story to help others x

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  18. Becca, you've brought me to tears - it's been 18 years but I still remember that feeling of locking my true self up to protect it from being bashed and belittled. And now all my bruises come from bonking MYSELF, or tripping on the dog. You are so brave, your post is beautiful, and so is your card. I am going to give this a go.

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  19. Wow. A brave and inspiring post, and a beautiful card.

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  20. My heart goes out to you that you even had to go through this, but I'm so glad you've overcome it and are continuing to craft again. What a beautifully written post, showing your card process mingled with your empowering words! You keep right doing what you love to do - craft! We are honored that you chose Just Us Girls to showcase your gorgeous card and to help spread the word about domestic violence. You are an inspiration to all, Becca! God Bless!

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  21. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

    I had a friend who was shot by her husband, then shot himself. I think about it often, and wish more could have been done to prevent it. The laws don't seem to protect as they should, there needs to be more done, and I am glad you are bringing recognition to this issue.

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  22. Dear Becca, I hope you can read your post to yourself--you've said this so beautifully. Hard for those of us who haven't experienced this inhumane treatment to really understand, but it makes my heart ache. So glad you're a survivor & a strong, beautiful woman! Your crafting brings joy to so many of us & of course, to you--so glad you're back to it! Incredible creation!

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  23. Stunning card Becca. Sorry it has taken me so long to find you...i finally clicked on posts on your google page. Your story is heart wrenching. I am glad you have found your way to a lighter place. Hugs!

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  24. What a great card for a great cause. Love all the elements, and I admire people who can put lots of stuff on a card and have it look good! Thanks for playing along at A Blog Named Hero!

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  25. Wow, beautiful card....love the colors and the tutorial. Thanks for joining us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous!

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  26. You not only inspired me to create, you inspired me to share my story. I honestly don't remember the last time I told someone.
    http://onecraftymama-onecraftymama.blogspot.ca/2014/10/domestic-violence-awareness-month.html

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  27. I came from Jessi's blog...you are such an inspiration...yay you for leaving that horrific situation and for getting back to crafting...something for you....taking care of you.

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  28. Becca, your story touched me very deeply. My mom was a victim of domestic violence so I grew up seeing this for the first 3 years of my life. My birth father is not in my life. I have tears streaming down my eyes right now. Your card and your blog post are an inspiration. So sorry you had to endure this and I am glad you are out of that situation and can craft again freely.

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  29. Becca--It takes courage and strength to talk about abuse. I'm a survivor (literally, because my abusive 2nd husband died) and I know that I'm a stronger person because of the turmoil I was put through. You've got a friend in me and I'm now a new follower to your blog! We need to stick together and even though we are strangers, we are sisters in our stories and our craftiness!! I'm so glad to have found you (from Jessi--One Crafty Mama) and you've got my support!! XOXO-Shari from Ain't That Artsy Fartsy :)

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  30. love all your layered work!!! wonderful!! Thanks for sharing with us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous! so nice to have someone open up too!!! {{HUGS}}

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  31. A wonderful blog post and so moving! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful project and for joining us over on the Simon Says Stamp Monday Challenge Blog! :)

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  32. This is such an important topic. You have opened it up in a spectacular, meaningful way. Thank You for saving yourself. Thank You for carrying on.
    I know you will have saved more women, and in more way's than you know by sharing this. 'Shine On You Beautiful Diamond'.

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  33. Your story breaks my heart. I hope that since you are crafting again, that you have finally been able to extricate yourself from that abusive relationship. Your card is spectacular. Thanks for joining us at Creative Card Crew. Good luck. Maggie, DT

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  34. The card is gorgeous and so is your heart. How very brave of you to tell your story and I love how you told it. Thanks for bring attention to this issue in such a beautiful and personal way.


    Thanks for joining us at Creative Card Crew.

    Mari

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  35. Oh my gosh sweetie. I am in tears right now. My heart aches for you, as well as all that have suffered such horrible abuse. It has been a crazy busy month due to work, and I have hardly had the time to spend in my craft room. But I will be making the time to meet your challenge. I will also pray that you can continue to grow in strength. You have created such gorgeous colors/layering and spiritual depth in your card. Thank you for sharing your divine artistic abilities with us and reminding us of greater issues in our world.

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  36. what a beautiful post. I am so sorry you had to go through those horrible years. Happy you are creating again! I am a huge supporter of RAINN. thank you for sharing your story and creation! also thank you for playing a long with us at Simon Says Stamp!

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  37. Becca, what a moving post, and bravo for you for sharing your experience......I know it will touch someone in a positive way. I applaud you!

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  38. This must have been a very difficult post to write, Becca! You did with such courage and care! Thanks SO much for sharing with us! I love your creation as it is a symbol of staying strong and doing what you love. VERY empowering! Thanks so much for playing Simon Says Stamp Wednesday “Get Crafty” Challenge!

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  39. How brave of you to bare your soul Becca - I applaud you - a wonderful creation depicting a bright future for those who are suffering

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  40. This is very brave of you Hun. I too have had both physical and mental abuse from partners. You have made a lovely creation that has brought this terrible thing to light.
    Hugs
    Cathy
    xxxxx

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  41. I touched read your post Becca....
    I love your vintage style
    and the color combo
    you are really great at typing a post
    my english is minimum also i try to write so less i can to avoid mistake
    your post really touched..
    thats why you get 40 comment and I am number 41 my friend..
    love your card and your post..hugs, Monika

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  42. Wonderful moving post, Becca. It's something that anyone who has gone thru has great difficulty talking about. I was there also in between marriages for 3 years in a really bad relationship, but I finally learned I had to get away from it. It was not my fault, none of it. So wonderful hearing your story. Blessings.

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  43. I am so touched by your story but I am glad you have managed through the bad times and are moving forward :) You are brave to share with us and also very thought to give out the message to those who are still suffering!

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  44. You know what, Becca? I've never wanted to hug someone as much as I want to hug you right now. You are such a strong, brave, and incredible woman - and I am so thankful that you are now SHINING -- the way you're meant to shine all along :o)

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  45. As I read your story, I simply sobbed. I won't tell my story here because it is more my mother's and my sister's stories to tell than mine. But know that you touched me deeply. I am sorry for your hurt and pain. I am grateful for your strength and healing. I am blessed to visit you today. Please know that I will pray for you and know that your art and your story need to be told. You will touch so many women. Love to you today! Know you are a blessing. Thanks for joining us at Craft Hoarders Anonymous!

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  46. Sorry I didn't see this post until now, Becca! Your story touched my heart, too, because one of my daughters was in a similar situation for several years. I know just how hard it is to get away from abuse but am thankful that you (and my daughter) were able to do so. It is not easy to share these stories; but hopefully your beautiful post will help at least one other person who is suffering. Thank you, Becca, for your inspiration!!

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  47. Becca it was good to read your story and understand how you started the hop...my heart goes out to you my friend

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